Sunday, February 07, 2010

Regret

We all have some. We're not supposed to dwell in them, however.
Such a dichotomy. Live in the now, but what did we do to bring us to "the now." What can we do better. That's supposed to be self-actualization, right?
I can think of a whole bevy of things.

Twice, in H.S., I got a little full of myself & broke up with my boyfriend thinking I could do better. Twice I regretted it afterward. But H.S. is full of such blunders, right? We're learning who we are & who we're to become.

So, here I am, on the verge of 40. Yes, 40!!! And still with the blunders. And so many regrets. I'm learning to let go & let God. Knowing there's a master plan behind it all both has me feeling comforted & bewildered. And that's where free will comes in.

Ahhh... my blasted free will. I CHOSE where I am today.
How comforting. If only I'd let go & let God SOOO much sooner... ??? Or found me a magical, time-traveling psychotherapist.

That's where "Being Erica" comes in. I discovered this little show on SOAPnet. Don't know how because I have never watched SOAPnet. I have enough fantasy & daydreams living on in my own head, thank you very much.

But "Being Erica" is all about having the ability to go back & undo past regrets. The character can't change "destiny," but does come to some interesting realizations about how things would (or wouldn't) have changed in spite of them.
In the end, it's all about being okay with our own decisions.

What is your biggest regret... & how would you have rewritten things?

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1 comment:

Bonnie said...

Robin -

I think my biggest regret is letting myself become the weight I am today. However, I'm ready to move beyond regret and do something about it, so I'm going through my insurance requirements to get a lapband. I've let my weight hold me back from enjoying life to the fullest and I'm done with that!